Longing for a Friend

Disclaimer: Its probably a really bad sign that each time I get the tug at my heartstrings to blog, I have to recover and set a new password. This is usually because I can't remember the password I set two months ago when I wrote my last post. Slap on the wrist Jessica. I must do better posting.


Now on to the topic at hand, my longing for a friend.

Ok, that seriously made me sound pitiful, and like I wanted some sympathy. Which I dont! I just have something on my heart, and I feel like I tell Nick about it all the time, so I'm journaling this time (while he cooks supper- HOTY- Husband of the Year). I feel like I have a problem. I don't seem to make adult friends easily. Im not sure if its me, or my age, or what, but I actually get pretty sad about it sometimes. You see, I just have a longing for a good friend, someone to bounce crazy ideas off of, someone to grab dinner with on a random week night, someone who will encourage me, even when I dont think I need it.

Lets rewind. I just dumped a lot on you, and for that I am truly sorry. I think I owe you all a little back story. You see, I got married 3 days before I turned 22. Young, I know. Up until then, I had a pretty solid group of girlfriends and guyfriends. Most of us went to church together, and I had some very longtime friends that I could always count on. I was a regular eating mexican with a girlfriend, or hanging out with a group, or some other couples. Then Nick and I got married. And 6 months later we moved to a very rural, small town, over an hour from where we grew up. Here is where some of the problem started. I think in general friendships fizzle out after a big event, like a marriage. People grow apart, I totally understand, and I do think that would have been the case. I had a different challenge. My friends didn't get a little time to grow away from me. I moved, and friendships that I thought were strong were all of a sudden nonexistent.

In our now almost two years living in Chesterfield, I have had one friend from home come to visit us and see our new home (That would be Gab herself!). I think that statistic is so sad, and it brings tears to my eyes. I wanted so bad for our move not to affect my friendships. I just knew I would still talk to the same people, we just wouldn't be able to see each other often. I was totally wrong. Almost everyone I thought was a great friend, has turned out to not even contact me anymore. No one has checked to see how we are doing, or how I like my job. Yeah, we are facebook friends, but what does that really mean anymore? Im not sure if it is the physical distance, or the fact that our lives have changed so drastically (marriage/new jobs). I cant put my finger on it. I can only put my finger on the fact that it hurts.

So, I lost 90% of my friends in the move. Well, make new ones, right? Wrong. That has really been a struggle for me. I have always been a quiet person. I am not really one to go out and make friends easily. I had in my head that people would invite us to this and that, because we were new in town. But I was wrong there too. We moved in the summer, before Nick met most of the staff at his school, and we didn't jump right into an awesome church family, and well, there aren't that many places to go out and socialize here. So, it has been a struggle from day one.

Side note: We did move here a year after Nicks best friend did, he kind of got Nick the job. He lived with his then girlfriend, now wife, and they are so awesome! We have always gotten along well, and they are fun to hang out with. But I dont think they want to see the Jolly's 24028 times a month, right?!

So anyways, I struggled at first. Then I got comfortable at work more, and made a work BFF. I say that because we really don't hang out or talk much outside of work, or work related conversation. Still, I can totally sneak out for lunch with her if we schedule it, and it is so good to have someone to vent some work related frustrations with. Shes a lifesaver in the banking world! Outside of that, Nick and I have a handfull of couple friends. We regurly enjoy the company of about 2 other couples. Which is great! We laugh, have fun, and we are even taking a little couples vacation this summer! Without our couple friends I really would be at the bottom of the friendship barrell. We also have been visiting churches. Im not sure if we have found the one for us, because everything seems so small. We are used to our very big church, with lots of friends in Sunday School classes, and lots of outings scheduled. Everything is a fraction of the size it was.

So, what is your advice? How does an adult, new to a very rural place make good, lasting, encouraging friends? Sometimes all I need is a little text during the day saying someone is praying for me. Maybe take a little girls day shopping, or even to dinner and a movie. I haven't had that in 2+ years and im aching. I can't see myself being super assertive and trying to get too overbearing in the friendship department. So my method has been to play off of the reactions I get. I just don't know how to read people.

Last side note: Nick is my absolute best friend. If I had to chose all over again, I would chose exactly where I am. I wouldn't give him up for 1000 other friends. He is truly the best, and if this is what being an adult feels like, well I'll take it. Also, my mommy and sissy are the best ever. I call them, about anything, and they always talk to me as long as it takes to cheer me up. I really have the best family ever.

Am I totally abnormal? How do I make friends without being overbearing and pushy? How do I know if someone is open to having a new friend (I don't want to take anyones place)? Am I just overreacting, and all young married females live without friends?

Thanks for reading, and if you actually got to the end of this post, it means 1) I didn't chicken out and take if off the internet, 2) I hope I haven't scared you away from reading in the future.

~Gib~

Hallway Happenings

Hey peeps! Is there anyone still out there? I know I know, its been a while. I have some splanin' to do. BUT, I have updates! Lookie what I did today...

As usual, I'm no photographer at all! These are with my phone, so especially bad. So sorry.

I made that super transformation in the hallway today! You see, all the way back in November I wrote a post about giving the hallway a makeover. Ever since, I have done a LOT of thinking and planning in my head. I also wrote a post showing ya'll my vision of the makeover, and some projects I had in mind. It took me all the way until this weekend to do anything to actually move the hallway from blah to awesome!

The whole hallway remodel started when I dreamed of a bench. I just wanted a little cozy spot to throw my purse, but also wanted it to have some style. It took me until yesterday to find the perfect bench. And when I say perfect, it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! Sorry, I just get all excited talking about it. I had been scouring craigslist, and checking every thrift shop I could. Then, Bethany (go check out her blog!) told me about a warehouse full of antique furniture. My sister and I checked it out yesterday, and found the bench!

They had tons outside, and it was pretty dark and spooky inside! But lots of good stuff!

The moment I found my dream bench, and just knew it would be too much for my pocketbook!

Scarletts Antiques, in Darlington, SC was the name of the awesome place! I found a few benches, and this one tugged at my heartstrings. I asked the lady if she could come give me a price on it, and I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes while she looked at the tag. I just knew it would be a fortune! I had allotted $30 in my head for a bench, and the lady said $49.95. Whew, not out of reach, but a little more than I had intended. I asked if she had a tapemeasure, and also had Nick come inside to see it. After seeing the measurements were absolutely perfect, I asked the lady if she could take $40 and she agreed! I could hardly keep a grin off my face for the whole day!

Today, I got it out of the car, and washed it down really well. I relied on a a magic eraser, some vinegar, and hot water. It was really dirty! I let it air out for a while, then brought it inside. I know it will need some sanding and staining, as it is pretty dinged up, but I couldn't be more excited about it!

Yes, in the right picture you can see gum stuck to the bottom! True antique!

This is where I got my wheels a turnin'. Over a year ago, I bought a 12 paned window, and had intended to use it as some sort of headboard. Today, I had the brilliant idea to hang it over the bench, and add a wreath. So the afternoon turned into a little hallway makeover. I painted the sides of the window (the part that wasn't exposed when it was installed), and I made a wreath. Its super sentimental, because I used actual flowers we used as centerpieces in our wedding!

I measured a million times, and hung the window straight into two studs! Woot Woot! Here are a few more after pictures. I am SO ready to paint now! Wont it look awesome when that window pops a little more when the paint of the wall is more of a contrast? Those pillows are from our living room. They are just acting as a placeholder. I will definitely find some fun fabric and get more color in there! Also, how stinkin' sexy are the curves on that bench. oh la la. 

Yes, that is a gift wrapped in the most amazing paper ever (TjMaxx find!).

Well, that was fun, wasn't it? Do you love my bench as much as I do? Are you feelin' the big window as a focal point? How about the hydrangea wreath. Its super sentimental, and I'm so glad I made it! How about colors, I originally thought mostly blues and teals and greens for the hallway, do you think that will still work? Next time I come over here, I am going to do an update on my goals post.

Ya'll have a great week!

Hallway Mood Board

I've been super lazy today, but I did do something semi productive! I have had ideas in my brain for our hallway transformation, but I finally made a mood board (my first ever) to show the hub, and you all my ideas!

Now, don't do what the hub said, and say "Stripes on the WALLS?" No dear, Im not that crazy, so let me explain!

- The top right grey would be the wall color. I want something very neutral, so I can change out textiles  and accessories as I please!

- I am really wanting a bench for the front hallway. We have room for something skinny, and I have my heart set on a church pew, but they can be somewhat expensive. I do want a bench with a back, and arms, (and if it has free standing legs I would love to dip them like the photo!) so I will keep searching craigslist!

- The striped fabric, and scolloped fabric would represent a cushion for the bench, and some pillows to make it a cozy little spot. The green geometric print would be a cute doormat for the front door!

- I like the drum light fixture, and it is from Ikea (Alang), so super cheap! I will have to measure to make sure even if it is mounted flush, that the hub wouldn't bump his head. He is a tall fella!

- I love the corner cabinet painted teal! My sweet momma gifted us a yard sale cabinet almost identical to this picture. I had imagined I would paint it white, but a color would be fun, and it would be in the back hallway, so perfect way to take some color back there!

- As for wall decor, we have a large gold mirror hanging in the kitchen, and it would hep tie in the floor color (example in bottom middle). I don't love the stain color on the floors throughout our house, but have to work with what we've got! I also have a largish collection of metal crosses that would be sweet in the back hallway, and I will probably reinstall our gallery of frames in the front hallway. I will probably go with the eclectic frames we have, black, brown, gold, and maybe add some white.

Like I said last time, I'm not sure of when this transformation can happen, seeing as I will be in Columbia for three weeks in Feburary. Hopefully we can start painting soon though! As far as budget, I want to keep it as cheap as possible (duh), but it will likely depend mostly on what kind of bench I can find. Also, we will be purchasing two light fixtures, paint, fabric/doormat, some extra frames and accessories for the walls and corner unit.

What do you guys think? Bad color scheme? Too busy or just enough pop of color? Hope you all have a great weekend! I'm back to scouring Craigslist for my dream bench!

The 4 B's of 2013

Hello there. Did you miss me? This blogging thing is hard for (keep on reading to see how I plan to fix that). For one, we all knew the holidays would be busy, but holidays over here at the Jolly house, yeah, there are 5 holidays between mid December and mid January for us. You have, hub's birthday, Christmas, New Years, our anniversary, and finally my birthday. So forgive me, I have been busy celebrating!

Now, when I last left you, we were planning a hallway makeover! Click on over, and see what thats all about! That project is currently on hold :(. For one, it is basketball season, and my husband is a basketball coach, meaning I am at a high school gym at least 2 nights a week after work. I also do some tutoring after work, so that cancels out at least another night a week for crafts and projects. Our weekends are full of cleaning that we neglect during the week (keep on reading to see how I plan to fix that) so there is no project time there. Oh yeah, I forgot, I have a 8-5 full time job, which is about to get even more crazy since I accepted a new position and have training out of town in Feburary for 3 weeks! Sigh. I will make it to my projects in the hallway, and keep on chugging through the house, but it is on hold for this moment. I'm sorry for the letdown, but just bear with me, please.

Now that you are caught up, how about we proceed to the title of this post! I hate new years resolutions, so I have made 4 goals of 2013, hence the 4 B's of 2013! Without further adieu, here they are!

1. Balance
Maybe this one goes without saying, but I need more balance in life. I am a hard worker, which will be an even more important thing with my new position, but it is hard to work a full day, and then come home and clean and cook and have a little down time. I do a pretty good job of balancing work tasks at work, so I need to bring those practices home, and balance better here. For example, hub and I hate cleaning. We usually let some clutter and laundry and messes get bigger during the week, and then we spend an entire Saturday or Sunday as a "cleaning day." Well, this doesn't work for us. We need to maintenance clean better during the week, so we can enjoy the weekends (and do projects!), and not be stuck cleaning. Also, I should plan meals better, so I can do prepwork, instead of always coming home to start a meal from scratch (or throwing something frozen in the microwave). I think if we can do better in these areas, I will get more "fun", which means craft and project time!

2. Budget
I am not terrible at working with our household budget, but there is always room for improvement. To be a little transparent, the Jolly's do have a considerable amount of debt, but the major things are our mortgage, and school loans. I feel these are necessary/acceptable, but it doesn't mean I don't do everything I can to get rid of it! We pay more than the minimum on our mortgage every month, and I want to put even more into our mortgage in 2013. We will also have one medical bill, and one student bill paid off before the summer. We are getting where we want to be financially, it has just taken a lot of concentrating, and not living outside our means. I would like to do better at clipping coupons, and we would also like a summer vacation, so that will take some planning and budgeting. Lastly, I hope to be better at budgeting home projects. I have small things in mind, and larger things that will require more savings!

3. Body
I don't hate my body at all, but I know it could be better. I don't diet, and I don't regularly exercise. I also don't overeat, and I generally eat healthy. I guess this goal goes more to my body image. I want to loose a little weight, and also appreciate what I have. For Christmas, I asked the hub to gift me a Birchbox subscription. So now, I am recieving monthly boxes filled with makeup, hair products, and general girly goodies. This is already helping me, as I am taking a little more time to notice my skin, my makeup (I am terrible at makeup!), and how I want to be seen. Also in this goal, is my clothing. I hate feeling like and dressing like a granny :(. Seriously, I have been called " sweater Jessica" at work. For Christmas, I got a few stylish pieces, and I plan to incorporate some shopping into the budget in #2 so I can dress more my age. Last, I am trying to drink more water. I have peed a million times in the past few days that I have been adding more H2O to my day. TMI? Sorry!

4. Blogging
This sweet little baby blog made it to my goals! Yes, I need to do better, and putting it out here should help. Right?! I need you readers (all 3 of you) to hold me accountable! I don't necessarily say I am going to post a certain amount a month, or week, but I need to get more regular at it. Hopefully with the Balance, Budge, and Body work, the blogging will fall right into place! Oh, and I need to take better photos for this blog, maybe that will help attract more readers!

I think I will track my progress monthly for myself, but hopefully post a halfway through 2013 update in the summer. So keep reading!

So, do you like to make new years resolutions? Goals? How do you feel about the balance in your life, or your budget, or your body? Will you help hold me accountable for this blog?

Heart of the Home

So, what do you consider the heart of your home? Just for the purposes of this post, the heart of our home is going to be our HALLWAYS. The heart pumps blood throughout your body, and our two hallways move us through all the rooms of our home. I don't think its the most important part of our home, but we will start the house tour there.

I chose to revamp our hallways as our first house project. I know, odd, but with it being so close to the holidays, I didn't want to get deep into something, and also the hallways will make a really big impact in our home! As we go through, I will show a "TO DO" for each portion of the hallways.

I guess I may should tell you the specs of our home. It is three bedrooms, with one and a half baths. We have a large living, and large eat in kitchen. Also, we have a carport and storage shed in the back of the property.

Now the tour... (disclaimer: I am terrible at taking photos, which I should probably change for the single reason of adding photos to this blog)

This is the front porch and door (obviously, I don't think I had to tell you, but just go with it?) We painted the door red before we even moved in to the house. I needed something to "pop" with the front of the house, since the landscaping is lacking, and that wasn't budgeted for an immediate change. Also, I spray painted those planters bright yellow, and I love them! Those ferns, yeah they started teenie tiny and they are the plant that has lasted longest for me :). Im proud! The wreath is sort of a year round one, which I DIY'd. The door on the other hand, has got to go! Those three odd windows are not our thing. Also, the porch light, yes it will be replaced too.

TO DO IDEAS:

-get a new front door (and paint red?)

-would love a new doormat

-obviously landscaping, but not right away

-new porch light

Moving along to the inside...

 

Yay, we are inside now! We will call this our "front" hallway. The picture to the left is your view as you are standing right inside the door. You can see straight through the eat in kitchen (there is a pocket door there- how cute!), and out the window! Also in the picture to the left, before the gallery wall of frames, is the entry into our family room (the doorway is not pictured). If you were standing facing the kitchen, and walk forward, the hallway to the left of the kitchen entry would take you to the bedrooms and bathrooms.

Now, the second picture is if you are looking back at the front door. See the ugly door and windows in the door? Yeah, gross. The light in the hallway is also awful. Its a single sphere globe. We definitely need something with a little style.

Overall, we need color and patter in this portion of the house. Something that will tie into ideas that we have for the other rooms, and something neutral enough to last a while. As for function, I am contemplating a bench in the place of the hallway cabinet. Oh I almost forgot, our coat closet is directly to the left if you are standing where the first photo is taken (doorway not pictured).

TO DO IDEAS:

-paint! (I think grey will be the color, shade undetermined)

-new front door

-entry mat in fun print and color

-possible bench, with cushion of cute fabric

-lighting

-new closet doors?

Moving along...

 Now, we have gone to the kitchen doorway and turned 90 degrees to the left, and we are looking down our "back" hallway. Its not really a back hallway, they actually meet up to form an L shape. Anyways, there is no personality back here at all. In the first photo, the rooms are as follows:

First doorway to the left- office/craft room/spare room

Last doorway on the left- guest bedroom

First doorway on the right- full bathroom

Middle doorway on the right- Closet

Last doorway on the right- Master bedroom

Oh, that light you see in the first picture, thats the same one as in the front hallway. Boring. We also need some wall decor, although I'm not sure yet what to do with these walls since they are broken up by the doors. Lastly, the bookcase at the end of the hallway is getting the boot, and being replaced by a Christmas present from my mom! She found us a corner bookcase at a yardsale, and I can't wait to revamp it! The doors at the end of the hallway don't lie perfectly across from each other, you can sorta see it in the second picture. So the corner shelf will work much better :)

TO DO IDEAS:

-paint (same color as front hallway)

-wall deor

-new, revamped corner shelf

I do apologize, this post got super wordy, and maybe confusing. I guess maybe I need to show you a floorplan of the whole house so you can imagine it better. Anyways, this is what we will begin working on after Christmas, and I'll be gathering Pinterest ideas until then :)!